Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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