So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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