when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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