There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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