Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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