I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
