Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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