i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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