Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
