I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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