Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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