yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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