guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
