so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
PANTIES FOUND
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
