guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
