He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Damn victory sex feels great
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
