also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
