her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
