Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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