Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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