he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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