During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
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You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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