On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
from now on my penis is your penis
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
time to smoke my breakfast
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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