i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
