i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
