got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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