Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
