I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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