I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
