if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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