Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
