I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
