I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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