You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
