How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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