I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
