tell your sister to shave her snatch
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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