He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
false alarm. still invincible.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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