His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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