there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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