Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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