the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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