Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
