I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish I only lived at night.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Damn victory sex feels great
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
