hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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