We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
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I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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