Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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