Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize