I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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