it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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