Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
