My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
