I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize