I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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