Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
