Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
