I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
