I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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