Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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