I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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