I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
