New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
