Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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