margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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