anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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