That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize