so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
